Do You Feel Like You Don’t Belong?


Do you feel like you don’t belong?  In your family, your life, or this world?

I sometimes feel I don’t belong on this planet. I’m too sensitive. It’s too harsh, too violent, too overwhelming. Do you feel that way sometimes too?

Many people like me who express the “leaving pattern” from the “5 personality patterns” didn’t feel welcomed into this world.  Often, they continue to feel like they don’t belong even as adults.

I’d like to heal these feelings around not belonging.

A sweet image came to me a few days ago of being welcomed as a baby by “the grandmothers” – elder wise women. The grandmothers encircled me as a baby, swaying and gently playing their drums and other instruments. Their faces expressed delight at my presence in the world, as if they were saying, “No one belongs here more than you.”

The next day, at the health food store, I happened upon one of the workers as I browsed the aisles.  She welcomed me in the warmest of ways, as though the grandmothers had tipped her off. That made me smile and appreciate the way the universe reflects back what we need to heal or learn.

It might have been true. Maybe I wasn’t welcomed into this world as a baby.  But I’ve solidified the story by repeating it again and again. Bréne Brown reminds us not to do that:

“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”

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